Max Bilbow
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It’s 3am UK time and I’ve had little-to-no sleep since I left. However I am in Irkutsk and Vasiliy is telling me (in what he calls Monkey English) that my journey begins now.
So I try to assemble all the things I might need for a 10 day expedition on the Kitoy River, where we shall be hundreds of kilometres from any notable civilisation and surrounded by mountains.
Fortunately for me, a couple of the 9 Russians on this trip have a fairly good grasp of the English language. This makes it possible for Vasiliy and me to improve our understanding of each others’ languages without too much frustration.
So after only a couple of hours of class I/II (Thank God!) we make it to our first camp and, while our food supplies for the trip get divided between everyone, I am able to brush-up on some basic Russian. Nye Prosto.
That night, before I pass out from exhaustion, I am handed a cup of Vodka and a piece of raw onion. Drink the Vodka then eat the onion… Like a Tequila slammer I guess, but more oniony.
Day 3 and I was all geared up and ready to film 9 indiscriminate Russians toss themselves down the first class V of the trip when Vasiliy says, “Come Max. We go now”. At this stage, I have not developed the linguistic skills to refuse, so off we go.
The rapid is short, not too dangerous but pretty hard to nail. However, after a quick natter about the line, we both get it spot on, chicaning around the cushions and holes that lie in wait.
Now it’s into the main gorge section. There may have been some chatter but I missed it and all the Russians pile over a horizon-line leaving me a little bemused. So I follow anyway, making my best guess at what the pour-over will look like and which direction to aim my boof… I am mistaken but fortunately I am in the mood for a little freestyle and am able to work my way clear to the whooping of many cheery Russian kayakers in the eddy below.
Every day the trip seems to get progressively harder. Today we seem to spend a lot of time paddling a fairly continuous class IV gorge. Water levels are high and the enormous amount of equipment is making kayaking feel a little more like raft guiding, with technical decisions being made much earlier than usual.
But I’m used to it now and, having moved my seat forward and mastered the art of using Russians as hole-bait, I’m even enjoying the extra challenge.
Then we reach the main gorge. Most of it (class IV+) can be paddled. However we must first portage a big class VI section that could not be inspected or portaged once inside the canyon.
In the evenings I attempt to brush up on my Russian… even if everything I say is still a sort of comedy show for everyone else.
Getting naked on this trip seems to be something of a daily ritual but well worth it after hours of hiking through wilderness… It turns out my mosquito spray is some kind of horse-fly aphrodisiac. Not impressed!
I’ve never really tried fishing before so I was quite keen to have a go. I find it interesting that fish always look so surprised when they are caught.
Vasiliy leaves me on my own and I catch the biggest fish of the day. But what do I do with it now? After some gruesome amateur fish wrestling, Vasiliy is there to show me how to gut it, skin it and eat it raw. The fish was flabbergasted.
Later that night, someone hands me a cup of Vodka and a raw fish. It’s a bit like a Tequila Slammer… only more fishy.
This trip involves running two tributaries of the Kitoy, both of which involve a hike up to the put-on. The first of these tributaries, The Ehe-Gol, has some good class III/IV technical creeking which culminates (just below our camp) in the following…
A 16 metre high waterfall that is not for the faint hearted, especially considering just how far we are from any form of civilization.
So with that out the way, it’s off – via some awesome class IV/IV+ Kitoy big volume canyon paddling – to our next camp for a big meal and some rest… Because we all know what’s coming.
Later that night, someone hands me a cup of Vodka and a cube of raw pig fat. It’s a bit like a Tequila Slammer but less lemony and more… chewy.
In order to paddle the second trib – The Beluty – we must spend one day off the river… off the river and hiking through wilderness with our kayaks (and kit for 2 days camping) on our backs.
For over 10 km, we hiked up and down the valley’s side, through the trees, guided only by Vasiliy’s GPS system.
Towards the end, it was necessary to cross a steep tributary, making a rope bridge for out kayaks (above).
The next day is not much easier; hiking almost the same distance as again, now only with kayaking kit, we head to the put-in for the Beluty.
This beautiful section of class IV/IV+ creeking takes us all the way back down to our current base camp.
Amazingly there was only one real portage on the entire section.We stop for the night at our camp and the following day head on down the Beluty to rejoin the Kitoy.
The day kicks off with a 12 metre waterfall that is similar (if slightly cleaner) to Norway’s ‘Nose Breaker’ fall in Voss (as featured in Means of Production).
It’s so much fun that we spend a good hour here practicing out big-drop boofing technique; much fun.
This was followed but a few more waterfalls, the last of which being the most difficult move of the day: A ‘double drop’ that, after watching Vasiliy and me take dreadful lines, the rest of out team decided to portage.
The last night included a well-earned sauna and night in a wood hut… luxury!
But possibly the highlight of the trip for me: Sitting naked in a sauna with my new comrades, attempting (with little success) to explain to Vasiliy the meaning of ‘homoerotic’ whilst Kostya vigorously slaps his back with a leafy branch.
As usual, I had missed a lot of the finer logistical details and was expecting a short bumpy ride to the main road, followed by another short ride to Irkutsk.
Nope. 12 hours of disused track and off-road driving that would make even the most hardened Ugandan boda-boda driver tut in disapproval.
And now? After 2 days on the inter-Siberia express (a surprisingly agreeable and sociable train journey) I am sitting in Vasiliy’s house in Novosibirsk, waiting for our boats to arrive by train so we can head out tomorrow and start running the gnar of Russia’s Altai rivers.
For anyone considering a trip to Russia, I’d strongly suggest you consider travelling with Kayak USSR. Take a look at their website and, if you have any questions about my experience, drop me a line!
You can also check out some of these rivers on their latest film: Empire.
P.S. Don’t forget to check out the latest updates to the British Universities Kayak Expedition in Vietnam: www.kayaknam.com.
Photos by: Alexey Markushev, Ivan Kozlachkov, Sasha Steklov, Kostya Lubyagin and Artem Palvelev.
Well I didn’t get off to the best of starts; I Arrived at Heathrow only to find that my visa wasn’t going to be valid until the day after I touch down in Moscow. So pay the fine and book onto tomorrow’s flight.
The following morning however I am all ready to fly, once I’ve haggled down my excess baggage fees.
After I’d unpacked and repacked my kayak so that all its content may be weighed individually, I started to wonder: What sort of drug/bomb smuggler would hide their naughty bits inside a 2.5 metre long kayak weighing 32 kilos fully laden? And then to get rumbled anyway! No… I think I’d stick to body cavities if it were me.
If flying alone into the middle of Siberia wasn’t enough, I have to collect all my gear at Moscow, run to another terminal and check it back in; boat and everything, and all in less than 3 hours.
Since there were no trolleys I was forced to put the first scratches in my brand new Karnali; dragging it from terminal 2 to the bus, and then from the bus to the check-in at terminal 1.
Somehow, even though I was quite stressed and sweaty, I still had a 20 minute wait before check-in opened! Still – a pretty hard graft the first time around.
And even though the check-in attendant first looked at me with an expression that said “I’m pretty sure you just urinated on my best shoes”, I only ended up paying about £100 for my excess baggage in all. Bargain!
But what happened next? I Arrived in Irkutsk at 5am (9pm in London) and slept for 3 hours before being awoken by my new comrade, Vasiliy Porsev saying “Come, Max. Your journey starts now. 10 day expedition on Kitoy River. Many waterfalls.”
…but that’s another story.
It has been a long year, stuck in the UK all winter. But with my PGCE course over and a job secured for September, I have a bit of time to play with… So before my 5 week jolly to Russia, Emily and I decided a 2-week warm up holiday in The Alps would be just lovely.
Rory Woods (above) paddles a particularly narrow and fun slide on the Sorba.
After a bit of a ‘chossy’ start in the French Alps, we headed over to Val Sesia, in Northern Italy, where we were told to expect high levels; even quite late in June… We were not disappointed!
After a quick look at the Sorba Slides, on the advice of a friend, we drove a few kilometres upstream on The Grande – a tributary to the Sorba – to find the gem pictured above. A 10 metre waterfall with an exciting run-in and a clean landing. What more could you want? 2 hours of steep creeking back to the car? Snap!
Nothing but tight drops and slides all the way to the take out. I haven’t felt the need to wear elbow pads in a while but this run seemed worthy. (Above: Me on the lead in to the waterfall)
The above shot is the drop just below the fall. I opted to leave my cameras in the car for the rest of the run, hence why there are so many pictures of me.
Every time we reached the horizon line above a drop (which was usually at the foot of the drop before) our internal clocks would tell us that we had underestimated the descent time of this run.
But with a bit of look down stream we were amazed to see that yet another tight drop or slide contained a perfectly navigable line. Sometimes the lines were less orthodox than others, as Matt (above) demonstrates.
And of course it would be rude not to paddle the well-photographed Sorba Slides at the end of the run.
But it’s not all about the steep creeking. We had a great time paddling a few sections of the Sesia with Sheffield Uni.
And back in France, Triple Step (on the Guil) was going off with the massive water levels. (Above: Rory Woods, Below: Max Bilbow)
Though that is all well and good, The French Alps wouldn’t be The French Alps without the statutory trip to the Fornel for a boof and hammer work-out. (Below: Jake Holland throws his weight)
Too late for the Student Boater X (in more ways than one), we had a little race of our own. Textbook shenanigans, really (Below: Max Bilbow, Jake Holland).
All in all, a fine Alpine holiday that wouldn’t have been as great if it weren’t for all the lovely Brits we hooked up with over the duration: Students (and old boys) from Sheffield, Leeds, Warwick, Southampton and Bath University clubs; Jake and Danny and others.
I’ve got a big old sticker in my passport and am heading off to Russia on Saturday. So until next time, play safe and enjoy my latest podcast (below).
Warming up in The Alps (Faster Connections): Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Warming up in the Alps (Slower Connections): Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadPhotos: Emily Bayne, Jake Holland, Danny Malkin, Rory Woods
“Safety: Not just a word – a way of life!”
Once again Tom Parker, Chris Eastabrook, Adam Dumolo and myself headed northwards in hope of some exciting Easter white water and the opportunity to impart some of our wisdom on some of the sport’s finest young minds. And this year we were fortunate to have the aditional assistance of Sara James and Luke Farrington.
Chris Eastabrook demonstrates which direction he wants throwlines to be thrown.
The first day – a day of much swimming around in cold water – was much more bearable than last year when Easter arrived a month weeks earlier. Much fun was had body-surfing holes and pulling each other out of the river.
Steve Brown tests out his club’s new favourite boat (The Karnali) on some good class 4/5 rapids.
There seemed to be a lot of ‘personing up’ from this year’s selection of student boaters. Having all our clients running the gnar (And often very smothly) lay down a real challenge for us coaches to put our money where our mouths were…
Matt Haydock (Leeds) observes Claire (Birmingham) as she persons up to run some gnar. Confident of his line, Matt fires it up himself shortly after.
Emily Bayne tries to conquer her fear of falling on the Etive.
…perfecting that flare on the 3rd drop of ‘Triple Step’.
I opted to test the Karnali’s ability to boof comfortably, as this textbook ‘right-angle falls’ photo illustrates. Conclusion: comfy.
Back at the ranch, the team keep their minds fresh by partaking in some late night problem solving. Unfortunately no one was able to pick up a seduko on Good Friday… so buttering Matt and Sarah out of the stairs had to do.
For me: Special study is in and there’s ony a few more weeks left of my PGCE. Summer plans are formulating – watch this space!
For more information about BCU Student Safety, visit: www.bcustudentsafety.com.
Photos by Max Bilbow and Emilty Bayne
Yes yes… I realise that 2 and a half months ago we were all getting hyped up about the ‘world wide’ premier of Means of Production (and rightly so!)
However VAS Entertainment have taken up the film and will officially release it world wide this April.
So what does this mean for those of use who’ve already been through all the hype? Well we get to do it all over again, of course!
Over the next month, in the UK alone, MOP will be showing at the Fort William Mountain Festival, Paddlefest and the National Student Rodeo.
Means of Production 2009 from Max Bilbow on Vimeo.
But we still need your help to raise awareness if this British made production is to become a world wide success. So don’t stop talking about it – especially to your Sri Lanken pen pal – and feel free to embed the above video in your web-site or blog.
You may even want to become a fan (Facebook) and write a review, but most importantly: enjoy the film!
Chris Stevenson introduces the Means of Production Premiere at Leeds University. But before we get started, it’s time to warm up the 140 person strong crowd…
With a friendly game of BINGO! With simply tons of prizes provided by Pyranha, there was much fun had by all.
Once the BINGO! has ended and the film is ready to start, the crowd rush to the toilet leaving Chris alone and ad libbing – desperately stalling for time. But not to worry…
It’s Tom Parker Kamikazi stand-up to the rescue. Dive-bombing with such classics as “Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains” and “A seal walks into a club”.
And once the general awkwardness is out of the way, and everyone has wiped the tears from their eyes, it’s on with the show; Means of Production in all its glory.
But then what?
Well it’s off to our own private venue in town for cocktails and cigars. A place where you can mingle with all the stars of the film and make informal complaints about the horribly inappropriate bingo calls.
Of course it is important, during any point in the evening, to be able to keep your sponsors happy, as Ms James is clearly aware.
Owen Jackson gets down with a spot of ballroom dancing to impress the new Leeds Uni Freshers.
Finally… a photo my grandmother should be happy with!
Chris Eastabrook (Top Left) is mobbed by doting fans.
All in all the night was a fantastic success with much credit going to LUUCC and in particular: Naibm Stack and Martin Rogers for organising the event.
Also Dave and Shaun Hazel for making sure everything sounded fine and that the bingo and movie screening went down without a hitch.
And obviously all the countless individuals who turned up and made the night one we’ll never forget.
The film is now available from www.mopmovie.co.uk.
All photos by Paul Wilkinson. More photos here.
There’s not a lot to say really. Just one more big shout out about the Means of Production release and world premier; beginning in Leeds, going via Uganda and Canada, and finishing up in New Zealand.
There are already over 100 confirmed guests coming to Leeds, and tickets for the showing and afterparty are selling fast! All proceeds go to SOFT POWER EDUCATION.
Oh! And it’s also my birthday… So there’s not a lot else to say except:
Be there or simply don’t be at the center of the universe that evening.
